(Benjamin Teixeira) – Eugênia, would you have anything to say about marriage?
(Spirit Eugenia) – Marriage is one of the most important institutions for the maintenance of emotional, psychological and spiritual balance of individuals and societies. Only through well-formed marriage is that families can structure themselves with depth and steadiness, durability and satisfaction for all their components. Good and stable families are necessarily the result of high quality marriages, nevertheless, a balanced marriage is no guarantee that a family will be well settled, since that spirits who arrive in the household, as the couple’s children, can be problematic.
(BT) – What do you think, Eugênia, is missing in today’s marriages so that there is more happiness?
(SE) – First, a greater belief in the institution of marriage – it has been discredited, having suffered numerous attacks in the course of the 20th century. Second, may there be more affinity of souls. May there be more compatibility of values, ideals, life goals, religious views and moral perspectives. And, finally, may there be more love, understanding and a genuine desire to make each other happy, without expectation of retribution or that one takes the lead to do good, although one has the right to complain moderately if no kind of compensation happens, since that marriage is a partnership and not exactly a field to exercise unconditional love, as motherhood or fatherhood.
(BT) – Eugênia, people today think that being unfaithful is normal. What would you say about this?
(SE) – That this is a dangerous setback to the savagery of the animal world. Marriage must be open. The spouse who find themselves in an emotional crisis, has the right to communicate a temporary suspension of the commitment of faithfulness, albeit in secret, only between both of them, as a bedroom secret, and inform that they will be making experiments with other people or with someone in particular, whom they may see as a potential great love, so that then they can evaluate more accurately which direction to take with regards to their relationship: if either finished or kept, according to the findings made out of the those experiences. But sex outside marriage should never be considered as normal or as a natural license. This reveals an overly instinctive nature, besides being a disrespect to the spouse, a serious disloyalty, that is: a flaw of character, a blow to the confidence that a partner has for the unfaithful one.
(BT) – Eugênia, and what about gay marriage?
(SE) – It is as natural as heterosexual marriage. It is an odd incoherence a self-called democratic society do not establish, legally, the possibility of two people of same sex to consolidate their union. It is even a serious fault in the Law. Science has already said that homosexuality is not a disease, nor a flaw of character, not even a personality disorder. Religion, as the most conservative segment of society, must develop a greater sense of humility, in face of the progress of the culture of peoples, so that they do not commit serious injustices in the name of God, as History clearly reports to have happened in many occasions. One should not forget that the principle of evolution guides nature and human communities, as a Divine determination, and that is how many things previously seen as heretical are today considered holy, such as the Christian faith, even, which was once abhorred not only among Jewish religious elite, as also among politics and religious people of ancient Rome. With respect to the prejudice subject, in regard to marriage, both gay marriage and divorce should be considered a moot point as an unquestionably fair and necessary matter.
(BT) – I am glad you touched the divorce issue, which directly affects marriage. What would you have to say about it?
(SE) – No doubt there are abuses, especially among young people who get married prematurely, when they don’t even know themselves well enough, let alone those they join in marriage. But, undoubtedly, even in the case of those who flightily get married, the possibility of divorce is a holy opportunity to set things right, so that they don’t carry on forever a mistake of youth. There are situations where a relationship becomes unbearable for several reasons, even because of one the spouses’ wrong doing, or a higher evolution of one of them, the change in values, circumstances or even each other’s temperament, after years together. People with a minimum of maturity do not argue the irrevocable necessity of the possibility of the existence of divorce in human societies. Marriage is a union of forces, not a perpetual prison. May it last forever, but solely by the decision of both spouses, by the happiness and desire of continually sharing their lives with one another, and not out of obligation to social conventions. In case it is found that the union takes away more than it sums, making the couple’s life a hell, as well as the children’s, it is worth for everyone a civilized separation, instead of a progressive degradation toward a growing unhappiness of all those involved, directly or indirectly, in their relationship.
(BT) – Anything else to say about the subject?
(SE) – No; that’s all for today.
(Mediumistic Dialogue held on May 07, 2003.)