(Spirit Eugenia) – Is there any thrilling subject you’d like to address, so then we can bring it to light, disentangled?
(Benjamin Teixeira) – No, Eugênia. Do you have any suggestion?
(SE) – I do. You can ask me about women’s rights. Two days ago, we published a text talking about the gains achieved by women so far. I would like to talk about the limitations
(BT) – Ok. And what would you tell us?
(SE) – Firstly, that the prejudice that exists against women is a fact, but at the same time, it is possible to get rid of it, as long as we are willing to act above discretionary actions (and discriminatory) and, mainly, when we look beyond polarities and we focus on the underlying unity among all creatures, their interests and needs. In other words, instead of concentrating on the fight, disagreements and frictions between the sexes, we should adopt a posture to seek the essential, to seek the union of everyone, by common goals.
(BT) – Uhm!… very wise…
(SE) – And practical. Through pragmatic attitudes and, above all, free from emotions, leaving the ego and petty feelings out of the race of greater issues at stake, as the progress and general welfare, we will soon have a natural accommodation of forces that will merge together for the common good.
(BT) – Right. Could you give us an example?
(SE) – Certainly. If a modern woman realises that her partner is tending to a suspicious or inadequate way, talking about the inconvenient of such choice and how much one would gain by taking a different turn is an excellent dissuasive resource. Therefore, instead of attacking the character and esteem of her husband, accusing him of unfit or unworthy, directly or not, when she is paying attention and showing that she is observing him in error, she should present a better alternative, thereby promoting his own inclination to opt for the most appropriated direction, even making him to believe that it was his own choice, without her help.
(BT) – Isn’t this somehow misleading or at least unfair?
(SE) – No, it is clever. Doesn’t it resemble the attitude of a mother who talks about the attractive elements of school, so that her little boy feels attracted to it, and he himself decides to go without being obliged to it? When it comes to a child, there is always the last resource of forcing her to go. However, in regards to an adult, the problem is more complex, since no one can directly interfere on the free will of others. Thereby, only by involving him with solid arguments and an emotionally comfortable envelop, it is possible to lead him to a certain direction. What characterizes slyness is the desire to deceive, to benefit from the weakness or unfitness of others, to tergiversate in order to manipulate according to one’s own interest. But when the intention is to captivate to assist, there is no reason to be afraid of interfering, with intelligence and savvy, on the decision-making of others, favouring a better direction in their life, through a psychological and diplomatic approach, and therefore, persuasive.
(BT) – Yes, Eugenia, magnificent, as always. Some women, however, find humiliating having to make use of tricks to convince their men that he is about to “blunder”, therewith becoming really impatient with the frequent male arrogance of believing they’re always right, therefore going straight to the fight, accusing their husband of stubborn and stupid, for giving more value to their pride than practical results.
(SE) – This feminine attitude of untimeliness, though, is mostly equivalent to the male stance that tries to attack. In fact, there happens a projection. Those with no vanity, are not bothered by the vanity of others. Those who ascribe to themselves the right to accuse and demand, for being ahead, must prove to be, by being understanding and wise with those who follow behind. Obviously that the smugger, mainly the tyrant one, is always bothering. But, in face of such difficult characters, there are two choices: either learning how to live with them, with flexibility and tact, or move away because the interaction based on confrontation (usually called by transparency) becomes unbearable, especially when immature and wilful personalities are involved. Hence, this suggestion we make is the common sense solution for a rather unsolvable situation otherwise, except by the breakdown of the relationship.
(BT) – Women, Eugenia, still lament a lot for having fewer job opportunities, for having to strive a lot to earn the same or even less than their male counterparts. The abhor sexual harassment and an irresistible tendency in many male colleagues and superiors, in the workplace, to evaluate them for their physical appearance, etc. What would you have to say about all of this?
(SE) – There is only one alternative for difficult situations: a creative and wise adaptation, so that one can extract the most out them, with minimal damage. There is no point in struggling against a fact. Adjustments must be created, in order to optimize the possibilities of a successful interaction with him.
(BT) – Ok. Do you wish to say anything else to women?
(SE) – Something very ordinary that has become a cliché in well-educated environments and that deserves our ratification. Women should act like women, in the labour market and not try to adjust their psychological nature to the masculine schemes of professional spheres. Women have a lot to contribute with their intuition, their natural propensity to participative management (so popular these days), to receptiveness, to the sensibility and ability to interact with others, richly and profoundly. Today is the men’s turn to develop these characteristics, until very recently considered exclusivity of women. A woman who psychologically dresses like a man represents an outdated stereotype of the first female professionals who entered the labour market, an overwhelmingly male environment back then. At that time, it was necessary that they acted like men, in order to be respected, heard and, consequently, take part in the productive mechanisms of society. Nowadays, however, we live in different times and this behaviour would indicate a total setback, as it does not only sacrifice women psychologically and physically, as it still endangers their professional life, in this era where the feminine is at rise, in all senses, even in the middle of the cruel and relentless jungle of the labour market.
(Mediumistic dialogue held on March 10th, 2004.)