Benjamin Teixeira by the Spirit Eugênia
Did a friend mistreat you? Is a reconciliation not possible? Did he or she act coldly in a way that seemed dangerous to you for seriously compromising the economy of your psychological life? It is ok: let him go. Do not dramatize it and act with the possible tranquility, like a manager who deliberates, not like a victim who cries. This happens because it is something natural to the human existence. Not everyone is in the same level.
There are other friends around you. You just have to open your eyes. Give love for those who give you love, give attention for those who give you attention, and, that way, you will feel compensated. In what concerns Christian charity, it has already been said: it is in the chapter of distant relationships (emotionally speaking, not necessarily physically), when you actually give something without expecting anything in return. But, regarding your intimacy, be careful with those who come to squander, without any spirit of reciprocity in their conscience, respect to the other, consideration for your feelings and needs. Because they are wolves in sheep’s clothing, in the words of Jesus, since they simulate feelings to get something they are interested in, but run away indifferently or irritated when something is asked of them for others.
You tell me you want to help him or her. Watch out! You may be just stimulating his vice or abusive tendencies and, thereby, all your martyrium will imply debt to your soul, besides torturing you, since you will be conniving and accomplice to your companion’s destructive inclination. In addition, you will waste precious energy of your mental cosmos, which could perfectly be used in good deeds. Not rare well-intentioned creatures criminally do nothing and fail to contribute to as they should to general welfare, because they are plugged with unconscious vampires, who steal all their creative forces.
Someday he or she will awake. But it is not your duty to destroy yourself, be irresponsible with your own mental life, to feed others’ whims. Therefore, release him, so he reaps the effect of his hideous selfishness, until one day, after much suffering, he learns how to respect people’s sufferings. If, at times, he was useful, it was only by thinking of his immediate gains (of his vanity, prestige in the community, other benefits calculated for him) as it was attested by his profound indifference to your desperate plea. Without spirit of service, sincere idealism, people of this psychological shape can convert themselves into weed of the evangelical cause, creating great losses for the divine work.
For the called are many and the chosen are few, taught the Master. Notice as Jesus says that, in the wedding feast, even though some can enter God’s work, if they do not have the appropriate spiritual pitch to stay there, they are gentle but peremptorily invited to leave, in order not to compromise the ambience, and, thereby, avoid general damage. And before this reflection, do not mistake the concepts of forgiveness with intelligence in managing your own relational life, since a wolf is not evil for being a wolf, but the shepherd who allows the wolf’s entrance into a sheepfold full of sheeps is the irresponsible and careless one, because he provides the damage of the entire group, in favor of allowing the flow of bestial instincts of a single creature.
Thus, without tearjerkers that debase, instead of dignifying, like a mother who spoils the kids that were trusted her by the Divine Providence, in place of disciplining them, take the necessary steps to keep the balance and usual flow of duties and commitments you are attached to. And if, in such deliberations, the presence of the problematic personality is a compromising hindrance, simply disconnect him, with neither hesitations nor remorses of the pulleys of your routine, letting him follow the path in accordance with what his unconsciousness or limitation suggests.
Message received on February 6, 2005.