Tired and sad…
Tired and sad, listen to the voice of hope and peace. Do not believe in the voices that offer despair, skepticism, cynicism and all kinds of denial, in exchange for your soul. Life is so rich in abundance of resources, of possibilities for you to give in to despair, which is the choice more blatantly wrong, in the middle of an infinite range of possibilities available to you.
If today you did not accomplish the expected, do not torture yourself because of that. Try to make up for lost time, tomorrow and later, mending the broken parts of the started endeavors.
No matter the standing of your faith, dedicate yourself to it, nurture it, take care of it as of a tiny plant, in need of special care, like being watered, fertilized and exposed to sunlight every day. Pray, entrust yourself to God, do your best. Listen to the voice of your conscience, and follow it. Do not forget, ever, that not listening to the voice of your soul is the same as entering into the sinister halls of all sorts of madness.
You may, very well, especially today that you feel so distant from God, so sinful and imperfect, be so close to the Most High, exactly because of that, because of the humility and awareness of your own fallibility, which the perception of errors provides. Therefore, trust to the All-Love Being your mistakes, your delusions, your follies, your fears and despairs, and be willing to try again, to try always, to get it right more often and, mainly, to serve better. It is in the active fraternity that you will find the safe path to paradise, distancing yourself from the hell of the conscience strayed from God.
Do not allow the monster of guilt to engulf you. Take responsibility for your acts, occupying your mind with constructive activities, transforming into meritorious production what would be an impulse to the fall, and you will have the solution to the apparently hopeless situation in which you think you are.
You were born to be happy. Darkness can plot as much as it wants, aiming to shut up your heart. Nourished directly by God, the source of your love will only dry up if you give up on seeking the Infinite Love. And as you do not have any purpose or inclination to do so, you can settle down, completely.
Today is your day of renovation. Naturally, without tensions, without demanding yourself to be what you are not, to give what you cannot give—simply being what you are: love through service, service through love, as much as possible, respecting your personality, developing it through solidary work.
Imbalance will feel at home in your soul whenever you do not make room to express the ideals of the spirit. Paint, sing, write, dance, hug, talk kindly and devotedly: be! Be yourself! And the rest will come as consequence.
And, lastly, think of yourself as a channel of God wherever you are. Do not forget that distancing yourself from the fraternal service is the same as abandoning a Divine Embassy, under the excuse of taking care of trifles.
Get up now from this bed of inoperative sadness. Clean up the dust of discouragement, and smile, breaking the pathetical grimace of hopelessness. Finally, choose the first simple chance to serve the common good and devote yourself to it. It will be in the service offered to the good of everyone that you will find the source for the solution to all the matters that affect your soul.
Benjamin Teixeira de Aguiar
by the Spirit Eugênia-Aspásia
25 August 2001